Part 35 – Eid Night

The hustle and bustle of people working hard inside my Aunty’s house snapped me out of my mood. It was Eid after all and there were more important things to focus on than mercurial people.

MUM: Good, you’re here. I need you to wrap this plate in cling. We’re going to the Akoojee’s.

I am not sure how, where or when it happened, but the Akoojees were our second family and Eid would not be Eid if we didn’t visit each other.

I walked towards Fatimah and embraced her as we exchanged Eid greetings. She looked much stronger and happier since her days in hospital.

FATIMAH: What did you do all morning?

I rolled my eyes and gave her a look.

FATIMAH: Oh, now you have to tell me.

ME: Ah, but I really don’t want to talk about it.

FATIMAH: Come on, spill.

I gave her a brief summary of the morning’s events.

ME: Which reminds me, I promised Nuha I would bring you to see them. Don’t worry you can see Zayaan as well.

Fatimah shot me a look and punched me in the arm.

ME: Ouch!

FATIMAH: Its not like that. I don’t like him. I don’t know him.

I knew she was telling the truth but that wasn’t going to stop me from teasing her.

A few hours later, we were all back at Aunty Roxx’s where the crowd had gotten larger and the house had become noisier. Soon, dinner was served and we were digging into our meals… that is until the Mohameds returned. My appetite vanished.

I tried to eat but there was an uneasy feeling in my stomach. Water didn’t help. Air, I needed air. I excused myself from the table and exited the tent heading for the garden.

Aunty Roxx’s garden was no ordinary garden. She had her own mini maze that only a handful of people knew about. I found myself wandering through the hedges until I reached the middle where a fountain stood. The gnawing feeling in my stomach was still there but at least I could breathe. Taking in the fresh air, my lungs were grateful.

I moved towards the fountain and sat on the edge. There was something soothing about hearing water fall so I used this moment of peace to gather my wits and compose myself before I headed back to socialise with everyone.

Looking down, I stared at my reflection in the water. Who was this person and why couldn’t she handle her emotions? Why did she have trouble sleeping? Where did this all stem from? And why was Zaheer’s presence affecting her so much?

There was something my therapist had told me in our first session together. She spoke about triggers and how sometimes we as humans can experience outbursts of emotions set off by triggers. It wasn’t necessarily the trigger itself that was the root of the issue but the presence of the trigger had the ability to destabilise one’s thought process.

In that moment, I felt like Zaheer was my trigger. He wasn’t the problem but every time I saw him or was near him, he unnerved me and my anxiety would intensify.

If he really was a trigger, it would explain my reactions towards him.

I heard footsteps before I heard a voice.

ZAHEER: Yasmeen.

My head shot up. How did he find the maze?

I rolled my eyes and instinctively stood up, ready to walk back to the tent

ZAHEER: Wait- wait. Just stop running away for one minute.

I folded my arms

ZAHEER: I’m sorry. I’m sorry I made that- joke. It was a joke. I was joking.

I let out a sarcastic laugh.

ZAHEER: What’s funny?

ME: What sort of a person do you think I am? In Dubai, I told you I don’t date. I don’t get involved in all this crap. And then you come here knowing I don’t want to speak to you and you make a joke over something ridiculous. Oh and lets not forget the accusations in Dubai. I am tired of speaking to you. You just- yo

ZAHEER: I keep saying the wrong thing

ME: Yes.

ZAHEER: Maybe I should just stop talking.

ME: Until you know what it is you are trying to say, yeah, maybe you should. You keep making things worse.

He nodded his head slowly.

ZAHEER: I didn’t want to make things worse. I wanted to help you.

I scoffed.

ZAHEER: In Dubai, you told me you had a lot going on and you were struggling but if me being here adds to that- to the problems inside your head, then I’ll go.

But before he left, he turned around to face me.

ZAHEER: Can I ask you one last question?

I nodded my head.

ZAHEER: Earlier on you said that I have a party lifestyle and it doesn’t fit into yours. Why would you say that?

I shook my head.

ME: I didn’t mean it… It slipped out of my mouth. I saw some pictures of you on Facebook in what seemed like a party environment but- it’s not my place to speak about things I don’t know anything of.

He nodded his head, acknowledging my answer.

ZAHEER: For what it’s worth, I’m sorry for screaming at you in Dubai. I didn’t mean what I said. I just- I was caught off guard when you said what you said about Ashley. I got defensive and said a lot of dumb things that I didn’t mean and-

ME: It’s fine-

ZAHEER: No. No, it’s not. I need you to know that I was wrong. We might not have seen each other in six years, but that doesn’t change the fact that you do know me. If I have to spend my time getting your memories back, I will. Because you know me and that connection doesn’t just go away. It’s never gone away for me.

I wanted to speak but no words came to mind. How could he be so confident in a childhood friendship that I had vague memories of?

ZAHEER: I’m sorry, Yasmeen. Just forget everything I’ve said so far. Let’s start over.

Before I could reply, I heard footsteps. But I was saved. For when the footsteps arrived, Zaheer had vanished.

FATIMAH: There you are. I’ve been looking everywhere for you.

My heart was beating rapidly in my chest as I tried to smile.

FATIMAH: Hey, what’s wrong?

ME: Nothing. I just needed a moment to breathe.

We headed back to the tent and I immediately reached for the water. I was parched.

FATIMAH: Nuha sent me a message. She said she’s coming with Uzair.

I felt a sense of relief. The Bobats were coming. At least that would distract me. Soon enough, they arrived and I tried my best to play hostess.

UZAIR: We’re not staying. Nuha just wanted to pick you up.

ME: Haha. You have jokes. I can’t leave.

NUHA: What? Why not?

ME: Look around, there’s too many people. My mother will never let me.

Nuha pouted and I pouted right back.

NUHA: Fatimah, are you coming with?

FATIMAH: If Yusuf comes, I’ll come.

NUHA: Perfect, so if you could just convince Yasmeen to-

ME: Go enjoy yourselves. I will be right here. Don’t worry about me.

Nuha shot me a look as if to ask why I was being difficult. I simply shrugged my shoulders. At that exact moment, Aaliya skipped her way over to me.

AALIYA: Yasmeen, can you please show me where the bathroom is?

Her manners never failed to amuse me.

ME: Sure love, give me one minute.

NUHA: I am waiting for you Yasmeen Raheem.

ME: Nuha, seriously. I can’t leave. We have guests from abroad.

NUHA: Is that why you won’t come? Because of the Dubai family friends?

ME: I mean… sort of. Look, I need to take her to the bathroom so-

NUHA: Just bring them with.

ME: What?

NUHA: Bring them with.

I gave her a perplexed look. Behind me, I could hear Fatimah snicker and I almost glared.

AALIYA: Yasmeen, I really need to use the bathroom.

I exhaled, torn between two conversations. It was at that exact moment that Zaheer appeared.

ZAHEER: It’s okay. I’ll take Aaliya inside.

And before I could put up anymore of a fight, the Mohamed siblings walked away, leaving me with a migraine.