NINE. TEEN. DAYS. In honour of the beginning of a new month, and for World Hijab Day, here’s a post from Nuha’s point of view 🙂 Enjoy my lovelies! Much Love DubainGirl ♥ xoxo
What. Was. This world. Coming to?!?! All of a sudden Yumna was playing happy wedding planner for Fatimah!!!! Na-aaaaaah!! I bet Yumna was secretly making voodoo on all the engagement flowers and she probably poisoned all the food! My imagination ran wild thinking up all these crazy possibilities! I was letting Shaitaan win and I knew that sooner or later the old Nuha would return to get her vengeance…
So I took a breathe in
A repeated this a few times then fished out my phone to phone Omar…
OMAR: Assalamualaikum Nuu
ME: Wasaalaaam Babe!
OMAR: I still can’t get over how you call me that (laughing)
ME: (in a sing song tune) Baaabe! Baaabe! Baaaby babe baaabe!
OMAR: Hmm.. Has anyone ever told you you sing like an angel?
ME: Has anyone ever told you you’re a very bad liar?
OMAR: That’s the thing Ms.Bobat, I don’t lie…
ME: So then you don’t mind helping me out ?
OMAR: With what exactly? If it’s anything wedding related, you know that’s not me Nuu…
ME: Look, Marr I really need you right now…
OMAR: Okay… Should I come pick you up?
ME: (in a whisper) Please
OMAR: Whatever it is it’ll be okay Nuha…
I didn’t say anything. I had to face my demons. I had to tell Omar EVERYTHING! He kinda sorta knew bits and pieces about Yumna. But he didn’t know the OLD Nuha. The old me. The open, easy, flirty, somewhat slutty version of me! I know, that’s a strong word, but for a Muslim girl it’s what I used to be. Omar deserved to know what he was getting him self into by being with me. I had many shades to me, and yes it was all in the past and you’re supposed to let go of the past. But… but the past was still a part of me and before someone else went and told Omar about my old ways, I wanted to let him know….
OMAR: You home alone?
ME: (getting into his car) Yeah, Zayaan went out with my mother to buy more kuncha’s for Fati’s family.
OMAR: (nodding his head)
ME: Why you nodding your head like that?
OMAR: (smiling) You promise you won’t feel offended?
ME: Try me (suddenly very curious)
OMAR: Well, it’s just that.. Nuu, don’t take offence. I’m serious. And I’m not trying to make you feel bad either.
ME: Omar! Just get to your point pleeeeease!
OMAR: Fine fine, and this has nothing to do with us, I’m just generally saying and-
ME: (taking his hand in mine) If you don’t tell me what you want to tell me, I’ll…I’ll
OMAR: (raising his eyebrow and smirking) You’ll what?
ME: I’ll scream (smiling)
OMAR: (laughing) Okay Miss Dramatic! Well….. what was I saying? Oh yes, so this whole wedding is going on and I like how your brother is getting married to avoid more sin
OMAR: In all honesty Nuu, I wish we were doing the same… But I know you not ready to get married. So I won’t push you.. But my point is, is that for weddings a helluva lot of money is wasted.
I bit my tongue. Omar knew I wanted the whole BIG fairytale wedding. And that’s what was so hard. We were so different, but it was good different…
OMAR: And you said Fatimah wants to keep the wedding simple, but see how both your mothers are spending away. I really am trying to not make you feel bad, but you know me….. I speak what’s on my mind
ME: I know (squeezing his hand) But you’ll come for the engagement right?
OMAR: (smiling half a smile) Wouldn’t miss it for the world…
ME: Umm…. I … I eh…. Can we tell Zayaan about us?
OMAR: You want to tell your brother about us… at his engagement? And what if he goes ape?
ME: Well you can use your Haafiz skills and read your kulls and blow on him!
OMAR: (laughing) These haafiz jokes… are they ever going to stop?
ME: Nope! Because I know you secretly enjoy my lame sense of humour (smiling)
We pulled up outside Westwood mall and made our way to Nino’s. Guess we would be having my whole ‘Blast from the Past’ conversation over brunch! But this is what I loved about Omar. He didn’t need to dine with me at any fancy place. A cheese sandwich split between the 2 of us at Nino’s made me extremely happy because it was just being with him, being with someone so honest and kind and good hearted. That’s what was important to me…
OMAR: Soo… you going to tell me why you sounded frantic on the phone?
ME: What do you know? So far…about Yumna and Mo?
OMAR: I know that Yumna was your best friend and that Mo was your ex boyfriend, who by the way happens to go for Jummah at the same mosque as I do.. So you’re lucky I haven’t punched his nose into his face!
OMAR: (shurugging his shoulders) I know he cheated on you with Yumna. That’s it…. I never pushed the subject because, because non of it is really important really.
ME: I know its not important.. or relevant but I still want to tell you. I feel like I need to tell you, about who I was.
OMAR: But it doesn’t matter. All of that is in the past. We all have a past, I’d rather focus on the future with you Nuu….
ME: I know, but I’m still going to tell you…
OMAR: Okay, but at any point, you can stop. And I won’t question you if you do stop okay (giving my hand a reassuring squeeze)
ME: Right…. Omar, the girl standing before you today, nobody would ever imagine me being like this. I mean, I’m wearing scarf! A year ago, the only time I ever wore scarf was if we ever went to a funeral… or…or like a jalsa, and even then those were maybe once a year. I just never was this girl.
I was…… different. Very different and the reason I’m telling you all of this is because you have been very influential in how I have changed. You, Yasmeen, Fatimah, all of you’ll. Lemme take you back to the day I first met Yasmeen. It was at a beach… She was with Yusuf and the way I threw my self at him….
I bit my lip
ME: The way I threw my self at him, flirting as if I had no dignity. It makes me sick to even picture what I was like.! Short shorts all the showy clothes. Omar I was a mess! And I even remember seeing Yasmeen’s face. The way she eye’d me as I flirted with Yusuf. And there I was thinking ”What’s this chicks problem? It’s just harmless flirting?” But I was wrong. Because I got to know Yasmeen. She let me into her world, and I guess I’d also have to thank Uzair because they were dating then… It’s just, in a matter of months I went from being in skimpy skirts to more appropriate clothes. Those small changes in life began to happen. But it wasn’t just about clothes Omar…. I was broken
Again he gave me a reassuring smile and held my hand
ME: (breathing out) I had been betrayed, battered and left all on my own. My friends , my supposed friends, they spoke about me behind my back, they gossiped one way. Yumna and I were obviously NOT on speaking terms. I had no one Omar. (sighing) Or so I thought. And I was never the religious type at the time as you obviously know by now. So I really did think I was all by my own. I resorted to stupid ways to get rid of my loneliness. I found new whacko friends who made me try stupid things….
OMAR: Nuha, no. I don’t want to know
ME: Okay, then I won’t tell you the details. I don’t even think I can bring my self to say them….. So yeah, I fell in with a bad group of friends. Zayaan… after the whole Mo episode, he threw him self into his studies. He didn’t realise I was drowning in my own loneliness. My own troubles, my old world, it ruined me Omar! The gossip! The lies! People thought I was pregnant! My god! The things people say to get attention! (swallowing a lump in my throat) I had enough! From those group of friends, I went on my own. And I guess it was for the best… Cause a few weeks later I met Yasmeen. A normal girl that loved my Uzzi! And my heart soared with jealousy! She had it all sorted. Her life was in order. She had a best friend Fatimah, a loyal boyfriend Uzair… I envied her but I wanted to know her. So… we spent more time together and… credit goes to Fatimah and Yasmeen-
OMAR: Credit also goes to you Nuu, you took the initiative to change. And I am so glad you did. (tracing the palm of my hand) Nuu,
OMAR: I’m just, I’m just really proud of you Nuha.
ME: Wait silly! I’m not done… I have to get to the part where you come in!
OMAR: (laughing) Go on…..
ME: Yes! So after I became SANE and somewhat normal with the help of Yasmeen and Fatz, I realised, I didn’t need a boy to be happy. Plus I had lost faith in ALL guys! I thought… I thought I would never be able to find a guy I would ever trust again. But I found you Omar… I found you and I’m telling you this because, because I trust you. Trust you enough to give you my heart. And… and I know we are so different Omar but bu-
OMAR: Hey, shhh… Nuha. Nuu look at me
I looked up at him
OMAR: You trust me right?
ME: (I nodded my head in agreement) More than you know…
OMAR: So don’t freak out when I say this. I’ve been thinking a lot about this. Like a lot. And it’s a compromise. And, Nuha I’ve been compromising so far by dating you. You know me… you know dating isn’t my thing…
Oh know! Where was he going with this?
OMAR: And… I’m just a simple boy from a simple background. I don’t stay in Westville. But I trust you with my heart, just how you trust me and… I don’t want to date you.
OMAR: I can’t introduce you to my family as my girlfriend because I want you to be more. Girlfriend is not a status any Muslim girl should have and so far Nuha, I’ve been doing this dating thing so I won’t loose you. But I want you as my other half. I want you to complete me Nuu. I want you to marry me….